Loving Women Even When They Choose Abortion
July 06, 2020
“We love because HE first loved us” - 1 John 4:19
A few months ago I was connected with “Julie”, a woman that was desperate in her attempts to help her 20 something daughter from going through with her scheduled abortion. The daughter and her boyfriend were unexpectantly pregnant and they were facing a long list of challenging circumstances that were leading them to believe that abortion was their only “way out”. I sat on the phone with “Julie” as she described the situation and listened to her heartbreaking tears. She was offering solutions and resources but her daughter was determined in her decision for abortion. We came to a point in the conversation when we realized we had no more answers and we had to leave it in God’s hands and trust Him. I prayed with “Julie”, encouraged her, and said something like “Even if she still chooses abortion, just keep loving her. God can redeem anything and your love for her will prove God’s love for her!” I remember feeling helpless as we ended our call. I had never met “Julie’s” daughter but my heart ached for her, my heart ached for “Julie”, my heart ached for what would be lost, my heart ached for the brokenness that would one day come like a flood because of this decision…
The truth is the pain of abortion doesn’t stop at the woman who experiences the physical procedure. The pain of abortion is like a never-ending rippling of a stone thrown in a pond. It bounces off of circumstance to circumstance, from person to person, year to year, relationship to relationship; it can and will consume everything in its way if allowed to. It can feel personal when we invest our hearts into someone’s circumstances and they still choose something we know is going to hurt them. We can take offense, feel like they rejected us, or maybe we feel like they don’t trust us.
On more than one occasion I have witnessed the stance of “If they choose to make an abortion decision, I can no longer have them in my life. They know this is wrong and I just can’t condone the sin.” Many times we miss the opportunity to be the key that God wants to use to unlock their healing and redemption because we get hung up on the “rules” of Christianity. God absolutely calls us to live a life pleasing to Him and to speak His truth, but we sometimes mistake that call to live a life of righteousness for our desire to be a judgment seat. We are called to save the lost and to make disciples. We can’t save the lost if we refuse to be in community with anyone who believes differently than we do or minister to those that are walking outside of God’s will. What would Jesus do? The Savior of the world was a magnet for the sick, unclean, outcasted sinners. His mercy saw them, His love healed them, and His grace welcomed them into the family!
I absolutely love 1 John 4:7-21 and verse 19 overflows my heart with excitement EVERY time that I read it! “We love because he first loved us.” How powerful is that?!? Read it again! “WE love because HE first loved us.” These words echo in my head and heart forcing me to examine the areas that I’m not allowing love to rule. Every single one of us is so incredibly unworthy and undeserving of God’s love but he gives it to us freely. At the moment someone steps outside of God’s plan and will for their life is the very moment they need us more than ever! They need our love, support, our prayers, and our community. Verse 20-21 says “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” How can we love them if we will not walk with them? The scripture doesn’t say “show them love from far away and send a nice text message every once in a while”. The scripture says we “must also love our brother and sister.” When we live in God’s love we are the face of Jesus to the world!
Love is the command.
If you or someone that you know has experienced abortion please connect with SupportAfterAbortion.com for confidential support available for men and women. If you or someone you know is single and pregnant connect with EmbraceGrace.com for support.
This article was published on July 06, 2020 by Focus on the Family and can be found HERE
